just over a year ago, I noticed a big yellow van on an off-road parking somewhere on the Portugese west coast. My heart skipped a beat, there it was; the van.

The area where I've been returning to for a few years now, felt good, familiar. Everywhere I went I found people from previous trips, people I missed and places I loved.

But seeing the van completely threw me off. How could a machine make me this emotional? But it was real, and just writing this brings back those feelings.

I realized I was searching for that vehicle everywhere I went, the yellow Mercedes I drove along these coastal roads a year before this rendez-vous, the car I got to know so well. I sat with it for a while.

Then I smiled because I understood the machine embodied a piece of heaven. This van gave me something so valuable, this sense of freedom and timelessness... the pure knowing that I have it all, I don't need anything else. This moment - right here right now - it's everything.

The ultimate happiness of simply being satisfied and having nothing left to wish for. The butterflies in your stomach every time you start the engine. You drive off and come home to yourself.

I found out there and then what I had to do, although I didn't really know how it would be possible. But I believed that it was the way to go, and here I am - writing you from an offroad parking somewhere in Portugal, sitting in my own (dark blue 1986 Mercedes) van.

San Vincente de la Barquera October 2020

For some it might be strange that I don't know when I'll return, I have only plans that I change on a daily basis, I don't work as much as I used to, and most of all people seem to think: but for me this is not an option, my life does not allow this. (I disagree)

It might be weird that I have such passionate values in my work and still I chose to leave and not try to be busy as much (a.k.a. to change the world for the better every spare minute I've got) but I can only follow my heart...

And I have to take care of me before anything else.